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Overthinking: The Problems it Cause and How to Conquer it!

I believe I have done more harm to myself, my life; overthinking.

Overthinking and the Problems it Causes

I had always believed it was better to look at the bigger picture when making small or large decisions. I felt it was the best way to avoid disaster and be prepared for whatever came my way, to protect myself from unforeseen harm.

But the bigger picture always led to overthinking before doing anything. That “what if this happens” question always popped into my head. More so, after becoming a mother and later when I could no longer tolerate emotional stress and physical pain.

Today, in a new place and time and with a much different mindset, I say, “what the hell; just do it!”

If I am not causing harm to anyone and the consequences fall solely on me. Why not go for it without much thought? The outcome will be what it will be, if nothing else; I have learned something about myself or how to address a situation should it arise again.

I think singly raising three kids, I could not throw caution to the wind because whatever I did would affect my children. But before becoming a mom, I’d hop on a bus without a second thought from Union Station in Washington, D.C to Downtown New York and as far as Texas without hesitation.

But old habits can be hard to break. And honestly, asking what if saved me from getting into a lot of mess.

But I have drawn a conclusion. That question “what if,” demonstrates a lack of faith, negative thinking, and keeps one stuck from getting ahead. Often more than not, its terminology is used in a derogatory manner especially when pondering over thoughts.

Overthinking leads to self-doubt, procrastination among other things. So why not be aware of its existence, face it, and cut it off.

Facing the Problem

Believe me when I say it was no easy task debugging my mind of that “What If Syndrome.” Though today I still find myself overanalyzing to write a blog post or record a video when I have already planned out a whole month of content. I tend to overthink it. However, I no longer utilize the term what if unless I am poising a suggestion because the lightbulb came on in my head with a great idea.

Truthfully, there have been times where I’ have wondered if I had ADHD because my mind doesn’t want to shut off once it has revved up. Although in most cases, my thoughts are creative ones. Still, I find myself at times overthinking how to present my content or handle the days’ agenda. Hell, I went back and forth compilating to blog or vlog this topic.

However, I have learned the key to conquering overthinking boils down to being consciously aware of when I am doing it. When we are aware, we can make the choice to probe why we are overthinking and address the emotions that sometimes occur when we overthink.

I can’t speak for everyone but when I overanalyze. I get overwhelmed, stressed, and therefore procrastinate in getting things done. Is this you too? If so, below I go into detail about how I solved whether to blog or vlog about this subject. If you are reading this, you know which form wins.

Overthinking: Problems and Conquering

When I find myself overthinking longer than three minutes over anything. I stop; acknowledge what I am doing and the emotions I am feeling, then I take deep breaths and ask myself a few questions listed below. If that doesn’t work and I feel my body tensing up I chant the OM mantra. I am no expert in meditation chanting but holding the OM sounds some breaths, repeating it a few times clears my mind: literally.

This ongoing pandemic hasn’t made it easier for those of us who overthink. It has only given us more to think about.

If you are suffering from anxiety more frequently because of the happenings in the world today. See if the OM mantra is right for you. I was shocked at how quickly it washed away my anxiety and stress. If it doesn’t conquer your anxiety or stress levels brought on by overthinking. Try asking yourself these three questions: They have worked for me under several circumstances.

1. Why are you giving this so much thought?
2. How does overstressing/overthinking help your or the situation?
3. How will this affect me today or tomorrow?

Here’s a scenario where I practice the meditation chanting and the questioning method. This example may seem small to some, others may relate; it brings on migraines.

Example: Going to the store.

When I think I need to go to the grocery store for food or; just get out of the house. At times I start to rethink the whole idea of leaving the house (safety…essentials).

I contemplate what clothes to slip on because I’m comfortably relaxing in my PJ’s or workout wear. I think about the weather, if my body is up to shopping; which store has the better sales and has recently stocked. On top of that, recalling every item I’ve run out of or is low on because I’ve lost my list plus, making sure I have my protective gear such as a mask.

Unavoidably, anxiety kicks in, sending my stress hormones into a frenzy. I get overwhelmed putting it off a few days. I used to love shopping, fashion retail, and food. But since the pandemic; I’ve found myself procrastinating more and more. And in no way can it be beneficial.

Procrastination is a side effect of overthinking. It is more than just a delay in getting something done. It can add up to multiple tasks placed on hold, stuffed, or piled in a corner or closet.

Eventually, the entire room or house has succumbed to it, and overthinking has become a mental clutter of mess and stress. And it is not just with our spaces it affects but our overall well-being.

Get it Done!

Getting it done prevents a long list of things-to-do and overthinking where to start. Prioritizing, and starting with the most important tasks probably should be tackled first. But should it become too much to handle. Take a ten-minute mental break (nothing longer) breathe in and out, then, attack the smaller projects first.

It is human nature to feel great about accomplishing. Knocking one thing off the list will give a boost of confidence to handle the bigger projects.

Tip: Where you begin to overthink, replace it with self-reflection, what you have accomplished, or take a self-care timeout. Just remember when reflecting, revisit those things that made you feel good or deserves a pat on the back (accomplishments).

When I think back over the dark moments I have come through, how far I’ve come and grown. It brings a smile to my face and a feeling of pride. My therapist instructed me to always acknowledge and cheer for the small wins as well as the big ones.

I hope I have given you something to consider when dealing with overthinking.

Whichever flower you choose to be BLOOM sister!
Dawn

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Mirror Effects

Does your mirror(s) have you feeling some type of away?

It is called the Mirror Effects.

We, as in women, feel good about the outfit choices we had to dig out from the back of our crammed closets.

Our clothes feel pleasantly comfy against our bodies until, something as simple as catching our reflection in a mirror; takes away what we had imagined looked like Kelly Rowland in a Fabletics commercial or Halle Berry on a strolling the beach. It was merely an illusion.

What do we do?

We begin to beat ourselves up, well, down.

Negative thoughts trickle in, we start to body shame ourselves; there is an energy shift, and we become an emotional wreck stressing over finding something to wear that covers all our outer flaws.

The Fix


Years after much therapy, I came up with this brilliant trick.

Have you seen the movie Snow White and the Huntsman? Do you recall the part when Queen Raveena asks the gold-shiny thing the question, who is the fairest of them all?

Well, the Evil Queen does not see her reflection staring back at her as she frantically paces back and forth to see if there is news of someone somewhere across the land better than her.

She patiently waits for the round glistening tin to form into a man where her quest has sent him on a Google search across the wide web.

He collects the information as to whom is the most beautiful on Instagram and Facebook while gathering himself at her feet. For her to discover it is not she, the fairest of them all.

Angrily she deliberates how could it not be her after all her efforts to stay relevant?

That is how I feel, as the Queen did when my mirror tells me the truth about how I look in leggings: any clothing.

Getting dressed sometimes feels as if Tony Robbins put a spell on me like in the film Shallow Hal. I step out of my closet believing and feeling one way to facing the hard truth in the mirror, feeling another way.

So, I developed a foolproof technique. A trick better than any magic trick Harry could ever think to conjure up.

See, the trick to looking and feeling good all the time is to see yourself through a mirrorless mirror (picture frame).

Even if my reality is my stomach bulging over the top of my pants, tits dragging the ground like this new fashion craze; I am always beautiful because I can visually see myself; my realness inside.

Not the reflecting cinnamon rolls rising around my waistline or where gravity has stretched and pulled my triceps and sagging boobs so low my granddaughters could jump double dutch with them.

And we must not forget the loose neck skin that makes grandma look as though she has magically turned into a turkey.

You see, The Mirrorless Mirror is a magic wand that forces you to see you, the inner self, those parts of you that get you into heaven: the most important part.

Let me be clear!

Now let me be clear. I am not saying, in any shape or form. I will strut out into the streets wearing a jumpsuit that fits like my infant grandchild onesie; busting at the steams like someone accidentally punctured a can of biscuits because I feel so darn beautiful inside after catching a glimpse of my inner self.

No. But what I am saying. It that in those moments, when I begin to beat myself up because I ate too many fries, overly indulged in the Costco’s variety pack of Cheesecake Factory cheesecakes; eat an entire bag of Hersey Kisses in one setting, or womanly monthly things. Hanging an empty picture frame on the wall does the trick every time.

So, if you are tired of walking around with bruises and black eyes you give yourself. Try my brilliant trick and get your confidence back.

Warning: Do not try this alone. You will see the real you. Some parts may be scary for some.

Head over to @sisterslikeuswin on Instagram to see how the mirror effect affected me.

Remember, whichever flower you choose to be BLOOM!

-Dawn